0
0
A media professional, working for 13 years, unmarried, with a petite frame – that’s an unsurprising ‘average’ description of me (by average minds) . I was reminded of the last bit way too often while growing up.
I thought it would stop when I would become a career woman, and when I would have a job title that sounds fancy. Unfortunately, it did not. I was body shamed – they said it was “in jest” – at a workplace where I aspired to learn a lot about my craft. None of those comments said out loud publicly, which made me feel bad about myself, sounded funny to me. Not sure how many men with a petite frame are reminded about their body structures more than their work ( I honestly do not know). But for a woman, I can say for a fact, this is not uncommon. Another friend, also in a leadership position, has confided about not being taken seriously sometimes because of her “petite frame”.
As we climb the ladder, it’s not surprising to have men around who are displeased with a woman running the show. I was once told to “smile more often” (even when masks were being worn due to the pandemic – pun intended). I felt really curious if the same suggestion has been given to male peers.
It’s not just about how a woman should ideally look or behave to be taken seriously at work. Misogyny is deep-rooted. I quit one of the jobs because the case in point was not just lack of transparency, and a structure, which eventually pushed me closer to a stage of burnout. “Should I file a POSH complaint?” was an irritated response from a senior HR person when I tried to explain to her that I was not comfortable with the condescension demonstrated by a male colleague.
“No ma’am. I know what POSH is… (considering you’re in HR, you should too!). If needed, I can initiate the process myself”. The simple point that was being made was the alpha male syndrome, and how such men won’t probably use the same disrespectful tone against male colleagues. But a woman – even if she is delivering more than her KRAs – can be considered dispensable?
So when a public figure like Sonali Kulkarni talks about responding well to compliments at work, she clearly does not know what she is talking about. Women don’t work for compliments about their physical looks. They want a level-playing field. They should not be made to feel guilty for not being people-pleasers. Moreover, any unsolicited personal comment – whether at work, or otherwise- is breaching a boundary. Is that rocket science?
So sorry, Sonali Kulkarni, I can’t take such a compliment. Thank you.
Itís nearly impossible to find educated people in this particular subject, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks